'Obamacare' To Blame For Venereal Disease, House Republicans Claim

'Obamacare' causes 'The Clap'

In a secret meeting of House G.O.P members before today's debate on Capitol Hill over the repeal of the Health Care Affordability act, it was revealed that an unnamed Republican caught chlamydia, or "The Clap", from so-called "Obmacare", anonymous sources disclosed today.

In deference to the tragedy in Tucson earlier last week, Republicans toned down their rhetoric and left out the word "killing" in their debate,  instead claiming that Obamacare was "destroying" jobs, as well as degrading the quality of condoms House Republicans use in illicit affairs with 20 something club kids.

While failing to logically link either job-destroying or prophylactic failure to Obamacare, Sam Johnson (R-Texas) did give a rousing speech on the floor, "I rise in support of freedom, and America, and free enterprise, and America. As you know, under Obamacare, the federal government forces freedom-loving Americans to hand over their hard-earned cash, to the government, and forces conservative leaders to put out recklessly at a White Party in Palm Springs. Liberty, liberty, freedom!" - TJ